Do Us A Flavour? Do Me A Favour.

It's impossible to avoid the Walkers ads at the moment. To give them some credit, it is a great marketing idea and there's always room for a new handheld snack in my world. But have you tried any of the six options? The words that spring to mind are "jeeeeee" and "sus".

I baled at four so it's possible that Duck in Hoisin Sauce and, er, Chilli and Chocolate are the two greatest crisps ever made. But I doubt it because the others - Builder's Breakfast, Onion Bhaji, Cajun Squirrel and Fish & Chips are fucking awful and it seems Walkers have thrown all the money at the marketing rather than the production.

Let's have a look at 'em one by one. Builder's Breakfast. Yum. Bacon, sausage, beans... yeah, we've been there before on the crisp front, so that's got potential. And then egg. On a crisp. When is that a good idea? And did I imagine the buttery toast? I'm sure someone from Walkers was on Chris Evans' show discussing the buttery toast flavouring and there is a hint of it. But why bother? If I want a buttery toast flavour I'm going to get it from buttery toast because it's cheaper and isn't swamped with a load of things that taste like arse.

Onion Bhaji is a damn fine idea. Onion and potato works well, there's a deep fried connection and what better celebration of a new British flavour than a look towards our favourite imported cuisine? So where's the flavour? The first one tasted of nothing. The second one tasted of nothing. I ate three, four and five together to see if they'd pack more of a punch combined. They didn't and so crisps six through to approx. 33 went in the bin.

Fish & Chips. Er? Chip flavoured crisps. Fried fucking potato flavoured crisps.With added fish and a bit of vinegar. Next...

And so to Cajun Squirrel which deserves to win because, unless you're a toothless inbred called Jethro it's very unlikely you'd have tasted Cajun Squirrel so there's no point of reference. In reality it tastes like more shit bacon flavouring with a hint of spice.

Dear Walkers. A great idea but insulting execution. Pass me the Kettle Chips...


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